Why I sigh

Personal junk, things I think are funny, sad stuff, happy stuff, just my life as I see it + lots of dreams. (Disclaimer- Not everything that appears in this blog is 100% accurate.)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

hmm hmm hmm...

I'm bored. I should be calling Jeremy or something.. but I don't feel like talking. I hurt all over because of the weather and my head hurts and my eyes are all puffy because of Fluffy.
Have I mentioned Fluffy? He is the 3rd cat my grandmother has had this year. Each cat she gets she says it's lazy, smelly, annoying, etc. We got rid of Fluffy a couple of weeks ago (right before Thanksgiving) because of my allergies. My eyelids were all red and swollen and itchy and my throat felt all "tight", I've never had such a bad reaction to cats.
So Fluffy went to live with my cousin.
After about a week we started seeing mice. My mom saw one in the kitchen, I kept seeing them in the living room and I could hear them in my bedroom. Eventually it got so bad that my grandma got Fluffy back even though I'm all puffy.
I gave him a bath earlier tonight so maybe it won't be so bad...
I haven't called Jeremy in several days, he stopped calling me too. I know he probably thinks I don't want to talk to HIM, but really I don't want to talk to anyone. Not even in person. I hurt and I know it might sound weird but -
Think of the absolute worst pain you've ever been in, there you are in intense horrid pain and someone is trying to talk to you about what you want for dinner or wether or not it's going to snow or they're telling you about some movie they saw and you're screaming in pain.
Now perhaps there's a tiny bit of insight into why I avoid talking to people when I'm in pain.
I don't think Jeremy is right for me anyway. I like him, there are things about him which I think are awesome, but we don't want the same things and he has all these hang ups from his last girlfriend.
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I took all the neopet stuff off my site because they froze my account, Caitlyn's account, Josh's account, Matt's account, Connor's account, etc. All because they were all accessed on the same computer. It said something about that I was using multiple accounts to make neopoints unfairly or something. It's not like I would take the points from one account and give them to the other account, they were all separate. I DID do a little of that occasionally with Caitlyn's account, I wowuld be online on my account, see something cool for sale that she would want, buy it and then give it to her account, but that's allowed in their rules.
I'm annoyed at that and would wash my hands of the whole mess if not for the fact that the kids worked hard on those. I worked on them too, but they don't really mean all that to me, it's just a game.

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Angie called me the other night and said the kids found a cat that they thought might be Rupert. Angie is also allergic to cats but she kept him inside (in her basement) long enough for me to go see if it was really him. The whole time I was afraid I wouldn't be able to tell, I mean don't cats all look the same if they have the same coloring? Then I was thinking that I might want so desperately to believe it was him that I might ignore the fact that it wasn't. Well.. it wasn't him, not even close. He had the same color fur but his face was different, his personality was different, his weight, his ..everything. I'm glad she let me know though, and I'm glad I went. I miss Rupert and any chance of getting him back and I'm there. I almost cried when Angie called, it's been quite awhile since he ran away but I still love him. (Yes, I realize that having 2 cats while being allergic would be even worse, but if it HAD been him I'd be setting up allergist appointments and popping allergy pills.)